Montel Williams Health Master: Confessions of an INFOMERCIAL-HOLIC

Dear Food Diary:

“Call now and we’ll take one payment off”. “But wait, call in the next 15 minutes and get a free _______”. “Try it for 30 days or your money back, guaranteed”. “I’ve been using my _______ and loved the results, it really works”. “All this a $$$ value for less than $”… I could go on and on, these words just seem to have a special power over me, maybe it’s the late night and lack of sleep.
It all started back in college, when I first moved to this country. Working on projects through the night, the TV was always on to keep me company. I got a credit card without any credit history while walking around campus, all naive, I just wanted the FREE South Park t-shirt, these nice ladies had me sign on the dotted line, few weeks later, the all powerful mini plastic arrived, and the love affair for late night impulsive shopping began.
I’ve gotten everything from shower mats that were suppose to stay dry at all times, shoe pads to correct posture, creams that promised skin like Cindy Crawford’s, to… I’m embarrassed to admit this, “hip hop abs“, gosh, what was I thinking! I guess I thought Shaun T was kinda hot in those 10-15 minutes I was watching, until I pressed play and his voice annoyed the heck out of me! The list goes on and on. (In case your wondering, no I did not and will not get the Snuggies, that’s where I draw the line, no matter how sleep deprived I am)
Friends laugh at me for “believing”, specially since Advertising is my major. To my defense, a lot of the products I’ve bought over the years are excellent and really do the job. MY FAVORITES: Huggable Hangers (things really don’t fall off, even my mom requested a dozen). Tempurpedic mattress (like sleeping on air, it’s so comfy. Wine glass really doesn’t spill). Maxius Hair Straightener (it does make my frizzy hair straight in one brush).
Recently my beloved Ultimate Chopper died, after 4 wonderful years of morning smoothies, Taiwainese icy and Argentinean Chimichurri sauces, it suddenly stopped working… I was sad, really really sad, until I saw this the other night: Montel Williams Health Master. Not only did it do everything my old Ultimate Chopper did, but it also made hot soups? and sorbets? woah! *Ring Ring* “Please send me one, NOW!” One payment of almost $25o! but Montel says it’s awesome, so it must be. Plus with all the stuff I eat, something healthy and wholesome sounds great to me, I mean, I can live with “chubby” but not looking fwd to being FatChineseGirl.
So it arrived and it’s industrial size! Unless I want to make smoothies for the whole building, I don’t need this. It’s so big , it barely fits into my sink, so washing is a total pain. It’s powerful so I was willing to give it a chance. First things first, so yummy HOT soups? no stove needed?

It’s super powerful and it emulsified all the ingredients at the blink of an eye. The liquid started feeling warm to hot, imagine coming home to hot soups on a snowy day! Sounds too good to be true? Unfortunately it was.

Once I opened the lid, yuk! gosh, I don’t even know how to describe it. Don’t get me wrong, I am a carnivore, but I also like veggie. Even with the awful smell, I decided to take a couple sips, ewwwwwww, strong raw taste, warm puree, not a good combo. I poured it all down the sink.
Next, homemade Strawberry/Mango Sorbet. This came out pretty good, and I could control the sweetness with honey. But this alone couldn’t convince me to keep the giant, without the hot soup function, any other machine at half the cost could make smoothies or sauces.
So OUT with the Health Master and IN with the Ninja Master Prep (which I saw on TV, but bought at Bed Bath and Beyond with coupons for less than $45). Review to come. I guess I’ll just never learn. “Hello, my name is ChubbyChineseGirl and I’m an Infomercial-holic”.
P.S. Chubby’s RATING: 1/2